I tried looking at groupings of friends we have in our life. Articles had some very interesting suggestions for categorization and didn’t include family, which can be the hardest category to forgive, so we definitely need to include them.
One simple diagram used a triangle and called it a hierarchy, and the psych major who loved Abraham Maslow cheered inside. It was also the most simple of the lists making it a good place to grow from.
Beginning at the base of the pyramid:
- Everyone Else
- Acquaintances & Associates
- Friends
- Family
- Soulmate & Twin Flames
To me, ‘everyone else’ could also be considered strangers. The people in the cars around you, the person checking you out at the store, people you have never met.
Thinking about what this population could possibly do that would require me to use the forgiveness model, is challenging, but it also gives me a foundation to go off of. If I have the minimum of emotional investment, my baseline is established.
Getting cut off, being rude, making a weird comment, are all things I imagine this population would do that could be offensive.
I imagine the baseline scale is smaller in size-there are only so many infractions a stranger can make, right? If I get cut off in traffic, I might swear but I also imagine their driving habits have little to do with me. The rude cashier? Same thing. If I’m nice and they are rude, I am to assume there is something else going on. So, my choice on this scale is: do I let it ruin my hour or my day? Do I take that rudeness on like a residue and send it out into the world like a cold OR do I let it go?
Likely, I’m going to let it go.
But what if I’ve met this person before? Why is it easier to forgive a stranger than an acquaintance or a friend?